Residents: Brice & Julie Derico
Julie: Hi there. The infamous Julie Derico speaking. Yeah, I know… ‘infamous’? What? Well, according to everyone in this neighborhood, I’m bad news. How can they say that? Well, how can they say that without proof?
I can’t say it isn’t true. I’m not a one-guy or one-gal kinda gal. I like love and I like it all shapes and sizes. Commitment isn’t my thing. Why’d I marry Brice, then? I don’t know. I guess I needed a change. Plus that Alice girl really got on my nerves. Getting all huffy and going off on me without any reason! I guess partly, I wanted revenge. Boy did I get it!
The girl in the picture above? Eh, we’re friends with benefits. She understands the game. Everyone I see understands the game. Except Brice. We had a lot of fun until he changed his mind about life. Then things got weird… but I just couldn’t bring myself to leave him. Plus, well, the above stuff. That’s life.
Remember when I said proof? I actually didn’t mean it. Guess they’ve got it now. I was out on the town with one of my lovers when Davina comes in. She spots me in an instant and is horrified. She and I, we’re the same… so why’s she all up in a knot? I figured she’d understand, but no such luck.
To make matters worse, Sade and my father-in-law Lenny came in after her. They’d all seen it with their own eyes. I thought I was done for. I mean, they’re gonna tell him, right?
The next day, Brice had off. He told me his sisters were stopping over for a visit. I figured this was it. They were gonna drop the bomb and our humble home was about to become a war zone.
They even brought Alice with them, just to add insult to injury. Come on. Isn’t she supposed to be with their younger brother? What’s she doing here??
Of course, Brice told them they could come over only if they promised not to gang up on me. Its a shame I’m not the one-man kind of gal. He’s a real sweetheart. Guess he deserves better than me, but don’t tell him that. I mean, not that he’d agree with you anyway. I began to wonder if maybe they just stopped by to see Brice’s camera. He’d brought it home from work and was really proud. He wanted pictures of his sisters.
Innocent enough, I thought. Then I heard Sade letting Alice in on all the dirty details, right there in front of Brice! Luckily he’s as dense as they come, so he had no idea what was going on.
I should have known it wouldn’t last. The second Brice stepped away, Davina was on me like a dog on a bone. She poked and screamed at me. What’s with this girl? Doesn’t she do the same thing I do? Isn’t that like the pot calling the kettle black? I’ll never understand the Derico’s… they’re so strange with their double-standards all over the place.
And to think, they’re quickly overunning Proudmoore Valley. Man, I’d pay to see this place in a few generations. Looney Dericos everywhere!
Eventually they left and I was secure in the knowledge that Brice had no idea. I guess his sisters saw that it would do more harm to tell him. Plus, there’s a chance he wouldn’t believe them. I mean, they didn’t have any photographic proof or anything.
Too bad not everything was going according to plan. Turns out I got pregnant. Worst part of it is… I don’t know if the baby is Brice’s. Yeah, I know… how awful is that? I can’t help it! I slept with that guy from before after our date and then came home and went at it with Brice. It could be either one.
Not that I really care. I’m not a motherly type. In fact, I never wanted kids. This one will probably be the death of me. Tugging at my hair, puking on me, changing dirty diapers… eeeghh! No thank you!
See what I mean? Babies equal death. A fire! I’ve always been an excellent cook and now suddenly I can’t even brown toast without turning our kitchen into a raging inferno. This is awful! My moods are everywhere, I can’t bring myself to see any of my lovers, and worst yet… I feel awful. I’m surprised I can even waddle around the trailer.
Brice, is of course, positively thrilled. Fine, then he can give birth to the little bugger. This just sucks.
I’m really down for the count now. I keep having horrible nightmares. The constant change in hormones is making me nuts. When we went to the doctor, he put me on constant bed rest. Great. Not only can I not leave my house, but now I’m stuck in bed all day. What a life I live.
Of course, while I’m wallowing in my misery… that little ho Alice comes trotting over under the guise of a customer. She has Brice do a portrait for her. While he is very talented, I highly doubt those were her true intentions. Where does this chick get off? She just won’t go away!
Besides… what’s she want with Brice? He’s a poor artist who’s a bit older than her. She’s got a kid who’s younger than her with a bright future in the military and she’s chasing after some old married man. That girl… she’s a piece of work. Maybe even more so than me.
Eventually, I popped the little buggers out. Yes, plural. I had twins. Those Derico genes really are strong, aren’t they? That’s Kitty and Vincent. What? Hey, I like cats. They’re independent and they don’t let anyone hold them down. So what if she gets picked on in grade school, it’ll make her stronger, right? Yeah.
Even after giving birth, I’m still on bed rest. I feel even weaker now. I can barely move. Brice is beside himself with worry. He’s stopped going to work. I’m getting sick of him doting on me. I just want some peace and quiet.
Ever hear the phrase ‘careful what you wish for’? Well it definitely applies in this situation. Yep, that’s me in the little pot on the ground. I’m dead. KO’d. No longer of this world, blah, blah. I guess being dead isn’t so bad. No jealousy worries, I’ll never get old… and hey, I can spook the living crap out of Alice when she comes over. Oh, yeah, she’ll be over like a happy little puppy when she finds out I’m dead. And I’ll be waiting. Heh.